blur of beauty

Wrapped in covering, wrapped in warmth, weary.

So weary with Day all spent,  little left, like lent covered coin in pocket corner.

The all thats left, all that remains is worn and small.

So fragile with fatigue.  Fragile with the blur of day.

We sit at headboard posts like guards to the castle, like judge to his court.

Needing wisdom of Solomon. For him.

Moments for teaching arrive at going on the midnight hour.

So pressing, so looming so in need of Creator God. For him.

We speak what we know, we temper and cool the emotions that cry out.

And we hear blurs of beauty, faint whispers of beauty. From him.

Parent ears know the sound.

Count the small victory in the heat of battle.

The rest we now take, not on laurels but on His Grace.

And sweet sleep comes and restores a bit, but not in full.

So much life pours into parenting bedside at night. Battle weary we.

Talk of charachter and patience and the right thing and all such.

Morning comes with fresh beauty, freshly brewed grace.

Always the surprise, the element of, no plot designer can out design His hand on lives.

She texts her JOY from school.  It megaphone screams restoration and awesome wonder.

I tell her my spirit cries with happiness and shared joy.  I have no tears, fatigue has

stolen my happy tears for now.  Sapped and drained from late night chapters on life,

studied and crammed and tested.  Weary student, weary teacher.

I am the student.  Learning, still learning.

Approaching mid night, she asks please steam the wrinkles.

Heat and steam press out on cloth.

This love symbol, this love language for us, the pressing out of the wrinkles. Weary gift.

The making beautiful and crisp.

Wobbly-legged me and steamer give what there is.

Heat and steam blur.  Eyes blur.  Heart cries out for horizontal rest.

These seventeenth and eighteenth years of life cross paths, intersect.

One becoming woman.

One becoming man.

And I am student.

 

Waking Up The Dormant

Dormant-1.Lying asleep or as if asleep: inactive.2.Latent but capable of being activated. 3. In a condition of biological rest or inactivity.

In awe of the new.

Amazed by the spring green sprouts of life, plants, relationships, talents. God at work.

Eyes wide open.  Seeing the glory in the new birth.  New beginnings.

Fresh, fragrant aromas of potential.  Sweet smells of sleeping now awake.

And water and love and tender care are required for these fragile young shoots of life.

The gentle hand of care and nurture are called to pour out merciful love.

I have been given a new old friend.  Several, more acurately.

New grace.  New opportunity.

Through God’s unfailing love and circumstances the soil of my life has been tilled with fresh offerings.  Fertilized with nutrient richness.

What I allowed to sleep, I will wake up in love.  These latent gifts, like unwrapped packages brushed off to the side in those weeks between Christmas and New Years.  Lost in abundance.  Maybe. More likely, lost in blindness and blur of self.

Like the red solo cup in the music video which follows (click on the link to view), God calls out in amazing ways.  Beautiful ways.  Uniquely wooing us to Himself.

1John 3:1 What marvelous love the Father has extended to us!  Just look at it–we’re called children of God!

This couples Lenten Bible Study pours out and holds to account.  And in just showing up how He loves us.  How he teaches and strengthens and woos. What undergirding and pouring out He can do and longs to do when we show up. What lavish, extravagant love.

Today I get a chance to spend time with my new old friend.  What extravagance.  To have a friend.  To share with a mothers heart the raising and training up and pouring into young men.

What amazing love and amazing gift that its not a solo journey across the Atlantic.  That we get to do it in community.

When we activate the gifts God gives, we anticipate the Joy.

When we fertilize the relationships and nurture the dormant gifts allowing them to grow to their fullest potential, we see glimpses of good. Investing in, spending time with, listenting to, reaching out for those people in my world. Those  God created for me.

Thats where I am called  today.  To live fully and see fully. To receive and then pour it back out in love to those in need.

To be present.

Walking through the green, measuring the new.  Spying the lush gifts which sprung up overnight.  There are precious tender gifts flung afresh by His extravagant love.  Last years latent, dormant plants and herbs are back.

They shout we are here for you to enjoy.  They whisper we were always here.  You just didn’t have the eyes to see.

And like all the new I am gazing on in this world, I am grateful.  So grateful.

Its all Grace and its all good.

And as the lyrics of this song so beautifully say, He is calling us all by name.

I don’t want to be asleep at the wheel.  I don’t want to miss a thing he has in store. His love like a dormant volcano with extravagant love can erupt any moment.

Click on the link below to enjoy this beautiful music video.  I did.

wynnegraceappears

?v=7ZKD6GNX

Get Out Your Yellow Highlighter

If your blog is titled wynnegraceappears- viewing life through a lense of grace, then that is what you do.

And if the biggest word in your seek cloud is GRACE then you have focused on grace.

And you highlight GRACE.

Everywhere is Grace, to be found, and named and marked and highlighted with the lemon colored highlighter.

And like the full moon which washes white on world and blinds by night, you witness to the good of God.

And all the while praying that what wages against good, and God’s good, and beauty and joy is held back and away and does not get a toe hold.

But you grieve at the pain.

And you grieve at the sin.

You grieve as God grieves at a disgruntled person killing a headmaster at a private school, knowing your children are safe but vulnerable. In a similar environment.

And you grieve at schism and brokenness in your world, your family or your church.

You highlight the beauty and what has already won and that is Jesus.

And Grace pours out on the wounds.  Like a big tube of salve you pray for all of it to squeeze out on the world where the wounds are raw and real.

You witness brokeness and unforgiveness and not what you expected to be walked out. By people you know. You love.

Your child says she feels sorry for…. and that is  for a man caught in the middle of schism. You know her understanding and her processing of schism is colored with pain and hurt.  She is her mothers’s child and the child of God. And she is a child.

So you gather up all collective hurt and pain and sin and  brokeness — offer it back to the Creator and pray for healing and forgiveness.

And a pouring out afresh and anew of His compassion. And in the spirtit of Lent you pray for restoration of the brokenness in your home and in your church and in your world.

And you highlight His Grace.

You reach for the big fat highlight marker and you color away.

Bold, crazy Grace.

And you know that He heals and that He welcomes a contrite spirit. Thanks be to God.  And when His grace appears as it has, and it does, and it will you say humbly  – God is Good, God is Great, Thanks be to God. We say to Him be all praise and Glory.

And she is making notes in the margin on how reconciliation and restoration are worked out and walked out.  She watches like the child that she is. What is extended.  What is received.  How Mercy is poured out.

She will look for forgiveness and compassion and the dying to self.

Things which are difficult in situations of conflict.

Oswald Chambers says:  “We are supervictors with a joy that comes from experiencing the very  things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us.”

No, in all these things  we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. – Romans 8:37

In this Lenten Season where do I need to extend forgiveness and where do I go to restore brokeness.  The heart wants to know.  The struggle to seek it out and reconcile are
undergirded by the Love of God.  Nothing can change His love.  Nothing can separate us from it.

Where we are weak without words to speak, He is strong.

Where we are frozen in stubborness or self-righteousness, He is mighty.

“..neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Yesterday i bought an Easter tree.  And beautiful wooden pastel eggs, pale and dull in their gentle beauty. I want to hang each egg on the limb of my Easter egg as a symbol to the new. But I wait.  Not yet.  Not quite yet.

But what of the unresolved and unreconciled. When Easter morning comes I want to sing like feathered trumpeter outside my window, that Grace and Mercy prevailed.

Today I want to color bold with the hot pink and blaze orange highlighter on the areas in my life where Grace was given Grace received.  His Love prevailed. I want to testify to His Love which washes fresh every morning.  No trial, no tribulation, no pain, no struggle, no schism, nothing is beyond the Love and restorative power of His Grace.

Those yellow markers mark the light and make them brighter and they dull the shadows of fear and death and sting of hurt.

Get out the highlighter and proclaim His Love.

Not in my own strength.  Not because of anything I can do alone.

But in the strength of the One who made me. He is the Overcoming One. The victory is won.

Salty, Seafoamy, Sandy – Grace, Amazing


Camping out in this verse for a season:  Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the one who makes me who I am. –Phillippians 4:13

The clouds move in.  The sun breaks through.  The cross stands.  A window I walk past often becomes a symbol of Hope and Trust and His Love.

And I am resting too on this verse: “I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.”  Phillippians 4:12

Somedays some of the ingredients in the recipe are missing.

But if I look Heavenward and in His direction and rest on His promises my hands remain full.

Just as a feather has dropped from wing of bird and he’s flown on, so the pressing on

begins or continues.

As sand and sea and salt refresh and renew, so does gazing on all His Glory.

All the possibility of more than just small remnants of Joy becomes clear.

Even as I pen this post, discouragement and frustration wait to pounce.  

But I marvel at His Glory and seek His face. And fix my gaze on all He has created.  This replaces doubt.  This replaces discouragement.  This builds Hope.

And I identify that which I need to return to him.  To lay on the altar.  To offer back to Him.

Release back to Him.  Give that which I was shepherding back to the Shepherd.  Lay it down.

And Marvel at all of His wonder.

“…Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on  to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” –Phillippians 3

And continue to count the gifts.

Opening up to receive and count them all.  Looking expectantly on the day for all that he’ll do and all that he’ll bring and all that he’ll pour out.

Amazing Grace.  Grace so Amazing.

Expectantly living.  Expectantly looking.  With gratitude for all that there is and has been.

Praise God from Whom all blessing flow.  And they do.

*a bedside chat with my happy girl.  The perpetual joyful one.  She shines a spirit of joy in my world daily

*An email from a teacher praising something good.  The gift of taking time to point to what was good and worthy of praise.

*A kiss on the forehead from the Patient One before he leaves, for days.

*A son who arrived to a place of sun, safely and soundly.

*A cheerful face who consistently brightens my Mondays.  Always. Consistently brightening my world with her smile.

*Midweek plans with friends

*Re-connecting with friend for dinner

*Beautiful music in worship yesterday and my daughter whispering in my ear, “I love this song momma” and I said “So do I , so do I”