BEAUTY AND THE BARNACLES

Head down, eyes down, I walk.  And decide that  the vast seashore of this glorious beach on this day after super high tides and wind and moon  will contain a vast trove of treasures deposited on this very beach.

So I walk and I look.  I vary my path, zigzag from high in the dunes to down by the sea.  I think as a collector of beach beauty ,what will seem special, what will be treasure, what will look like art from the hand of The Artist, creator God. What beauty lies here to be found and gathered and picked.

No basket, no bucket nothing to gather but my hands I makeshift my coverup into a place to hold my findings.

And at the end of this day, as we leave by boat I force myself to decide which pieces to take with me back to the land.  I have a heavy load of beautiful conch shells, all chosen because they were perfect.  Their colors, their shapes, their uniqueness, they are beautiful each one.

Two olive shells would go with me to my bowl of shells, collected over time.

But I found the greatest beauty lay in the oyster shell covered in barnacles.  Blemish to some, beauty to others.  They added their layer of interest to the original shell.  And the moon shell, too she’s covered up.  She bears the passengers, barnacles, attached to her.  Giving her, this moon shell, an added radiance.  Added depth of interest.
We return to shore, my flawed treasures in tow.

And later, as we slowly put along the creek in the little Boston Whaler, with day ending and night beginning we soak in more.  And I record what makes this village special. What marks her uniqueness as a seaside town, unlike any other.

I look back at what was beautiful.  I think back on what seemed beautiful.  And while all the white boats and white houses against blue sky were and are, the little rusty Miss Candace caught my eye and I want to know her story.

Like a historian digging into her past  with the hope of finding more by digging deep in discovery as the archeologist would, I guess.  She has seen much.  She may need a fresh coat of paint.  She is perfect the way she is.

Her battleship gray and rust stand strong.  She wears weather well.  She has a life of stories that out last and outshine superficial exteriors. Her patina speaks softly of life and the sea.  She wears weathered storms like a beauty mark. She is strength.  She is beautiful.

And her neighbor Sarah.  Her name means lady of high ranking or high standing.  In Hebrew, princess. She wears her name well with dignity and pride, this little warrior of the ocean This shrimp boat whom others depend on to return to the docks with a bountiful harvest after long days and nights of labor.

She is small, but she is strong.  I wonder at her past.  I wonder of her hard times.  And below the water line I know she too carries barnacles, firmly attached.  Holding on, catching a ride through life on the sea.

They look steady.  They look strong.  They look useful.  And as we pass through on a little ride through their harbor they seem peaceful.  At rest.  No pitching and tossing on the sea, in search of shrimp.  Purposeful trips to the ocean postponed for a respite.

Story.  Their story.  Our stories.  My story.  Don’t they include the rust and the barnacle.

Isn’t the trip to sea which added the ding and the dent, one I want to hear.  One that has depth and meaning and lesson.  Isn’t it the one that added strength and charachter.

Didn’t the time she went out and almost didn’t return the one that shows she was tested out in that sea, that time when all seemed dark.  Wouldn’t I ask her to tell me more of that.

Is the time of full nets and blue skies and calm seas the story I most want to hear from her.  Don’t I want to know her overcoming times, her coming through rough sea times.

As I see her calm and at rest, covered up in peace and the still of her harbor, her dock.  I share her joy in this time of preparation.  She is beautiful at peace. And I am grateful that she will go out again, barnacles and uncertain seas and unknown trials to gather the shrimp which will go on my table.  Shrimp that will delight my family, meal after meal.

Her story is of great value.

Your story is of great value.

Our stories, with all that they are, the beauty and the barnacles are there to be told.  And cherished.  Learned from. Drawn from.  Celebrated.

Our journeys to the cross and by way of the cross and in the shadow of the cross.

And all God’s people say “Amen”

“Before God can use a man greatly he must wound him deeply.” Oswald Chambers.

Small Important Things

 1 Peter 3:8-12- Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble.  That goes for all of you, no exceptions  No retaliation.  No sharp-tongued sarcasm.  Instead, bless- that’s your job, to bless.  You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.  Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do:  Say nothing evil or hurtful;  Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth.

Feet, bare.  Feet, tender hit sand then shell, beach walking on this glorious day. This Easter Monday day all wrapped in bluesky canopy. Canyons of solitude soak in the soul.  Calm pierces gentle this time of solace and quiet therapy.

Registering the hot, the hard, the sharp, the rough.  Tender feet.  TENDER.  And my thoughts do a mind drift, off untethered on a mile long stretch of beach.  Drift over sand dune, dip and dive over windswept island, small with welcome written all over her.  Alone in this beauty.  Alone as I catch up to myself , and with myself.

And I step on a small beach twig.  There among the sharpest of broken shell shards lie twigs that break my stride with pain.

And I wonder how so often the smallest and most unexpected things that come my way bear the biggest pain.

How a word or phrase or look can rob joy and break beautiful in half.  Shatter the happy into broken. Stain the laughter with tears.  How does the sensitivity to all make sensitivity itself a vehicle for pain.

In the tender places of the heart, is tough the opposite of tender.

Does ignore shield the soft places of the insides from hurt.

Will vulnerable always catch the unintended slight, not sent out by design to harm or wound.

I walk.  I ponder.  I wrestle.

Shrimpers nets  drag the water for the one intended goal of copious amounts of glorious shrimp,  but the unintended fills the nets as well.  The unintended get caught in the nets and mingle with the bounty.  Litter the boat deck ,waiting to be returned to the sea as waste and refuse.  Weighing down the fragile netting are unwanted sea treasures.  The nets become receptacles of all.  Pick through save.  Pick through discard. The trash takes up room intended for treasure.

David writes in Psalm 139, “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.  I’m an open book to you; even from a distance you know what I’m thinking.  You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight.   You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going.  This is too much, too wonderful– I can’t take it all in!”

And David continues in Psalm 139, “Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.  I thank you, High-God you’re breathtaking!  Body and soul, I am marvelously made!  I worship in adoration–what a creation!”

“Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you.   The days of of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.”

The nets take it all in and release that which has no value, which will burden the nets with added weight.  The weight  which rips and tears at the fabric, requiring stitching sewing and repairing before being let out again.

Repairing the damage.  Stitching the holes, the holes in the receiver  of all in a sea of life. The Blessings and that which needs throwing back.  That which requires casting aside and over and away.

And I know that one small word can bring blessing and encouragement. One small phrase can build up, restore hope, lead to healing.

And one word can cut and bruise and sting.

How I have wounded and stung with a glance my eyes.  How quickly words have shot out without carrying gentle and kind and tender with them.

I wince at the moments of calluous and misspoken moments.  Where opportunity to bless and encourage were missed.

Where I was the twig.  Where I did not run after peace.  Where I was the broken shard of shell hurting the heel of a brother or sister in Christ,  or child, or husband, or stranger or friend.

I have been the stinging word deliverer.  I have been the messenger of hurt.  I have delivered words that lead to tears.

The tender and sensitive that God wove in me have slept and remained idle while I placed hurt at the threshold of another life.  Intended , unintended delivered nonetheless.  My small has been their large.  My flippant has been their signficant.

New mercy mornings bring His Grace, His Mercy, His Love and new found energy to run after peace.

And the nets go out.  The words go out.  The hearts go out.

Return with abundance by His hand. Fill and heal. Tender mercies new each day. Give Grace and tenderness to gently deliver to all we  touch in our always wonderful sometimes messy often tender-hearted lives.

Running hard after the Peace.

Pausing Our Buttons

We had some of those moments .

The ones the momma’s heart wants to pause.

Marinate in, soak in, stay in.

Pace teases.  Tempts.  Tortures.  Too fast.  Unfolding lives and life.  Growing up and out.

Speedy time moves,  is spent, evaporates, dissolves. Shore bird stick leggy fast.

It goes  mist steamy, up and out. It goes  kite tail spinning  heavenward, into the blue haze. In the  fog of living, friendly fire takes down the good with misfires.

It goes forward , need for pause or reverse or rewind  ignored. The mommas heart uses all available tools to record.

Rewinding the heart, rewinding the times of these lives. Rushing back when others are moving forward.  Slow to proceed.  Slow to catch up.  Resting on words , phrases and memories that need me to pencil draw them on the memory, the mind. They plead, please jot down.  They beg please take note of us.

A look, a glance, a phrase, not coming in the singular, but the plural.  The multiples, the paired, the groups like flocks of birds.  These moments and transactions of life.

Butterfly net swinging at dizzying speed, the mind sets out to capture the elusive.  Capture the beauty on wing like Monarch migrating through.  Trapping phrase, glance, tone.  Netting the moment.

Living in family, where lives cross paths like crowded landing strips , take offs and landings , schedules , plans, zipping and jet-speeding out and in.  One ill-timed flight pattern, then crash and flames.

Banter back and forth holds keys to life.  No one notices.  Only the mommas heart hears words like clues to future.  Clues to the heart plans, holy grail important. Ignored and almost left for dead.

Slowing down offers hope.  Preserving saves for later.

Resting in words of life saves some casualties.  Recording gives life support to memory.

I rock these lives, slow like baby after nursing for nap.  Slow and steady.  Smell memory. Hold life.

Swinging hard, swinging fast the net of the heart.  Crying out for a pause.  Heart hoping for freeze-frame.

Easter new bring fragile eggshell time.

Easter new bring time in the shadow of His sacrifice.

Easter new bring nets of love in the celebration of His Resurrected Life.

Easter new restore.

Easter new, we thank you for it all, the end all, the be all, the He gave all, looking long in His wonderful face and receiving it all, with gratitude and grace.

wynnegraceappears

Counting gifts with Ann, at A Holy Experience dot com

*Easter planning in the details with a friend

*Steps forward, steps of growth with a son

*Having a sweet sweet comment in my inbox which I am wrapping my heart around with re-reading

*Lab puppies on the maybe horizon

*The end of some sports, the beginning of others

*Sisters

*Holy, Holy, Holy Week

*Glimpsing heirloom eggs at The Fresh Market, going to seek them out

*New Neighbors

*New growth coming back from last year, not expected, offering surprise

*A positive email from the school of the one who’s trying harder

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