Of Things That Have Been – Guest Post: Holly Grantham

What an honor to have my friend Holly Grantham visiting today. I invited her to bring her words. And she graciously said yes. Holly and I have enjoyed working as poetry partners in the past. You may recall our project entitled Adagio.

We have plans to collaborate after the first of the new year, writing poetry, sharing the lines and space, creating and word weaving together.

Enjoy now, the words of this beautiful woman..

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Of Things That Have Been

I finger them mindlessly most days,
These tokens of thanksgiving.
In some familiar corner of my brain I am
aware of their weight and
the anorexic string that
keeps them connected to a well
untended.
But something has shifted
inside of me and
I can’t remember
how to see.

+++++++++++++++++

I have a bowl that sits on my kitchen counter
and in it are the scraps and corners and pieces of
meals prepared and cooked and fed to
the people that I love.
The contents of that bowl get tossed,
mindlessly most days,
into a growling pile of dirt.
Layer upon layer of repasts
Just sitting there
Marinating
Giving themselves over to death.

+++++++++++++++++++

Most days since Spring
I feel a hollow ringing somewhere just
below my rib cage
as if my heart was suddenly deafened by
the weighted silence left in absence’s wake.
I long to be overwhelmed by wonder.
And then, one day, the memory, it returns
Joy, it grows in the humus of things that have been,
in the layers that settle at the bottom of my days.
I remember slowly
how to give thanks.
I remember, friends, how to see.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

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Holly Grantham, Bio

Holly is a wife, very relaxed homeschooling mom of three boys, snapper of photos, coming of age writer and a soul drowning in grace.

After years in Atlanta where she attended college, married the love of her life and lived in an intentional community, she found her way back to her home state of Missouri. She now lives in an antebellum stone house, raises chickens (sometimes) and pretends she lives in the country.

Holly may be found at her writing home A Lifetime of Days, on twitter @HollyAGrantham &
on her  facebook  writer page.  

Seeking Understanding in Loss

We grieved this weekend.  News of death delivered at our door.

Hearts ripped open, confusion bears down,  needless loss, words jumpled together.

AGAIN.

Weeping in our souls for the unknown parents of a young man tragically lost.
A college friend of oldest child.  Gone.

Middle son says how many is that Momma.  How many friends has he lost.

I am numb in my answer and I cannot count.  Literally, figuaratively my soul refuses the excercise of counting.  The number were it one would be too many.

Weeping comes at night but JOY will come in the morning. And The Message says it like this- The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter. Psalm 30:5

He calls home over and over again during 36 hours, processing pain.  Sitting at the feet of his earthly father to discuss how and why and what if.  One decision? One day? One
moment? One series of events?  His father is wise and patient and seeks to wrap it in understanding.   This Jesus Lover and Follower who is 21needs his Dad.

My mothers heart hurts. Its plain.  Its simple. It hurts.

I know that my son is here today and this hurting mother who is unknown to me grieves deeply the loss of hers. I do not know their story.  I know that Jesus does.

What young boys and young men and men and children of God are teetering on an edge of lost hope. Of confusion and hurt. Of pain and despair.

Is life’s preciousness not known or felt or believed? In that tenuous moment between utter pain and despair, does the heart always cry out to the Lord, the Comforter, the Healer, the Deliverer, the Life-Giver, the Great Physician?

Psalm 120-121 The Message — I’m in trouble I cry to God, desperate for an answer I look up to the mountains.  Does my strength come from the mountains.  No my strength comes from God… He won’t let you stumble, your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.

Praying today for college students. And for healing among this son’s family and friends.

And I will tell my children today and tomorrow YOUR GUARDIAN GOD WON’T FALL ASLEEP.