Still Here

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Still Here

Cut grass, sweet and fragrant
Spring’s trademark
You could bottle the stuff, sell it
At Neiman Marcus
It punctuates my days
From sunup to sundown
Like the lady with the beehive on the elevator
Heavy handed with her perfume
In an effort to try hard, too hard
To cover her transgressions
Sweet smell of store bought grace

Smells like childhood and memory
Out there
Skint knees and day-light savings time
And those pint sized 747’s  go from here to there
You could set your clock by their work
Pollinating and cross-pollinating
So focused on their work
They produce guilt
In the poet
They, single-minded  and task oriented
The artist, wavering and wondering

And I am still here
Left in the wake of new beginnings
Wallflower, wondering
Why poetry dried up
A heart mining deep
Caught in transit are the words

I come to a ghost white page

Blinking cursor like an old school marm
Tapping her impatient brograns
Where are the words you claim you
Bought and paid for with your living

Where is the poetry
Saved up
On the floor of the mason jar
Like lightening bugs
Gasping for air

Still here
Polishing, pruning
Mining the story
And praying hard

The words don’t return to ash
And dust
For lack of air

Breathing deep
Still
And restless
Poet warrior
Her pen, her weapon

Seeking peace
And moving the sprinkler
To water the words

Celebrating
Poetry Month
In the still quiet
Of irony and longing

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Joining Laura Boggess for Playdates at The Wellspring

Color Me: Weekend Poetry

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Color Me

The color of mercy, royal aubergines and plum
Whimsy, fuchsia, lime and auburn
Reds, fiery wild and burning free
Navy, calm and self-assured

And when the last color is pulled from the box
An attempt to shade and cover-up
To re-make what is simply there
Erase it all and start again
Wipe it void and color-free
White, make me white
And free from pain and sin
Make me new
This Lent
Prepare my soul to meet The Christ,
The Empty Tomb, The Cross

Color me new
Color me anything but me

Prepare me
Easter new

And then send me out to color wild and free again
Outside the lines
Of timidity and fear, constrained and shackled
Held by death and sin
Send me out free
To make art and serve
Spilling forth Hallelujahs
In turquoise, rose and marigold
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Joining Sandy and Deidra for her Sunday Community

The Bowing Out

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The Bowing Out

It started as a slow waltz
Front porch rocker, book in hand
Slow
Friend to the left
Friend to the right
Sun up
Cool breeze
The dance was an old soul
Disguised by youthful ignorance

Someone turned the volume up
The metronome cranked up too
Warped speed
Weary-making, manic the music
Syncopated beat
Too fast, too loud the pace
The rate, the chatter, and the speed

She bowed out for a bit
Dove under the water to the ocean floor
The one of wet and cleansing grace
She swam down where the sediment sits
To sift and filter, like a sieve
Her mermaid tail was all she’d need
To rest on the muddy bottom in the dark
Muted and muffled is the world
Down
Down
Down there, on the bottom of the sea

She swam under the radar’s rays
Away from the burning sun’s
Rays too
For forty days and forty nights
She swam alone
To think and pray
And consult her muse

There in a sapphire pool
One colored in redemptive rest
Her dance shoes parked
Up on the bank, in the dirt
Exchanged them for
An emerald green
Bronze and azure blue
Mermaid tale, custom made for
Her

It wasn’t so much that her feet
Were blistered, tired or sore
Or had been stepped on by the
Other dancers out on the
Over-crowded floor

She feared she’d stepped on her own
Self-inflicted, friendly fire
And maybe another one or two
On the floor
It was best now for her
To swim alone

She told me her story before
She dove deep down
And asked me to tell you too
The woman swimming in the deep cool
Sea of  salty turquoise seas
The ones which will restore her
Soul
And heal her dancing feet
She’d like to bow out
With dignity and grace
And if you were wondering
She took her blessed muse

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Standing At The Sink

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If you find me staring through the pane
Fuzzy, focusing on things
That aren’t right here
Far away I seem to you
Wandering out
back in again
Lost in thought inside my head
Making art and hearing holy whispers to press ahead
Bubbles resting in the kitchen sink
It is not the labor that you think
Upon first glance,
upon a second glance
You’ll see
Breathing rapid at the chance

To go chase Robins in my dreams
Daily washing worry down the metal
Drain
Choosing to find beauty in the ash
He bowed
Wrestled something from the soil
Hope, I think, was birthed on my front lawn

He landed there in front of me
As I stood steeped in worry at my sink
The birds transformed me into
Something holy new

Now I am rusty breasted in my dreams
Wings will take me far from here
I can join the Robins and
Go places in my mind
Disappear, fly somewhere other
Than leaning on the dirty sink

Every anxious thought
So filled with fear
Is floating in a sea
Made of foamy bubbles laced with dirt
I am a vessel
Propped up, leaning on the counter
Trying not to
Sink

Even the drain does not want
To take from me
This toxic waste

And if you see me resting in the rocking chair

Here but not, a countenance
Filled with worry and concern

I am not resting, idle though it seems
I have run away, escaping to my
Dreams
Asked them to carry me
Someplace other than right now, right here

The words give solace
Comfort
And remove me from
A place of tears

Now I have joined the Robins
Dancing on a sea of brown
They’ve brought
A story laced with hope

My soul
Is grateful for a flock of orange breasted birds
Content when digging
In the wormy dirt.
And I am back now
Washing dishes in the sink.