I Cannot Dream For You

 the prodigal fescoI Cannot Dream For You

Without weeping
While I do,
I do love you
My body wracked by pain
Releases heaves and sighs of grieving
Distributes tears instead of blood
Pushing pulsating  crimson through my veins
Salt soaked
Sacks of weeping
Burst open as they hit the
Hard wood floor
Boards by board you’ve laid your life
Down
In a pattern
Of your own design, it seems
But
Nail by nail
I
Gaze skyward
Searching for the rough-hewn cross

I cannot dream of you without weeping
I see you
Through the eyes of Christ
Who plans for wholeness
Restoration
Desires for healing in every life

So I will dream that joy shall visit
Come in the morning, return to you
Fill  you  up with songs of singing
That you will be  made whole and new
And I will hope you into wellness
Formed from molded clay by Christ

That you would dream of new beginnings
And see the world as it sees you
Born to this world with songs of gladness
Wrapped , loved and swaddled from your birth

And I  will dream until my life ends
That all that’s noble,right and good
Godly,Holy, true and pure
Will come by way of
And  then rest with you
That dreams of joy and new beginnings
We be your dreams and not just mine
For  worlds you’ve never lived to open
And take you mercifully  into glory days

Yes I will dream like Sarah
Release all trembling and human fear
Put it down
Shout out a deafening chorus
Of loud, yet
Broken hallelujah’s
For Always
ad infinitum
precious one, you child of God

Today will end your days of  weeping
Today begins anew
For I will dream always of you.

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Joining Laura Boggess for Playdates at The Wellspring

and Jennifer for #tellhisstory

Body-slammed By Grace ( And A Poem)

Some weeks just feel more grace-filled than others. Maybe they truly are. Or maybe it is our perspective. Perhaps grace comes in waves. Flowing freely some weeks and dripping slowly drop by drop during some drier seasons. Or maybe it is a matter of the lens we use to view this wild and crazy grace laden life we each are given to live.

This week was full and long and lovely. And I was body-slammed by grace. Felt the weight of its glory bearing down on my soul.  Washing over me like a tidal wave of wonderful palpable moments. Sweet and savory, a sensory overloaded stretch of amazing grace. A covering of a canopy painted in shades of neon and pale, brilliant and faded, but always, mercifully blanketed by it. Exposed. Receptive. Receiving. Surprised. By Grace.

elizabeth's path

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Vingettes of Grace

One
I got lost really turned around in circles lost. In a fog figuratively and in the rain literally. Bound and determined to eventually find the T-mobile store. I know, don’t judge. I needed a new phone. But what God had in mind was for me to be touched by the words I exchanged there with a total stranger. This is a story. This is a poem. This was the heart of human connection at a soulful and spiritual place. It wasn’t deep but it was wide. I brushed up against the cloth of his garment. He embraced me, this tall and dark stranger. He asked me if I was a Christian. This is a story. A very long one. But it left me dazed by grace. And in awe of what was waiting for me in the rat’s maze of my lost wanderings in a city I don’t yet know well.

Robert Lewis Stevenson

Two
I left town for a week or so and I am now on my fifth week away from my family, with my family of birth. I am lonely but not alone. Filled with joy, but torn into pieces. By the separation from pieces of my heart that are a five hour drive from here. This is a ministry but  I am being ministered to. A paradox. A new paradigm of love.  While I am serving in a small way I am healing.  This is my Africa. This is my foodbank. This is my shelter.  I am where I was called to go. I am home but I am not home.  I am body-slammed by the ministry of presence. And I am the receiver of the gift.

Three
I am wearing a new hat these days. I am a book editor and a proofreader and on the team of a book launch. My mother wrote a book. For ten years she invested in this project of the heart. A story that was handed to her in the form of letters over 100 years old. She weaves the tapestry of this story. One of a girl whose parents send her to Virgina while they serve as missionaries in the interior of Brazil in the late 1800’s. It is beautifully told by my mother who doesn’t remember writing the story. Dementia took that part of her journey from her.  Over two hundred pages, Homeward is a historical novel based on the letters of Esther, her great-grandmother who is separated from her family who remains in Brazil while Esther is sent to school and to extended family. This is a story. This is a poem. Here in  an eruption of grace, in the birthing of the book and the dedication of my father to have it published lies a love story. You will read more from me of the unfolding of book and its journey to be published. A grace explosion right before me. I am glad that I stayed. I like this hat. It fits me. Maybe not well.  Amazed, truly, it even fits me at all.

the glider

Four
I had my words go a couple of places this week. Humbled and honored that they have wings.  That they were invited to  fly out of the nest. I stand under the shower-head of rushing grace to think that they, my little fledglings are journeying elsewhere. I would be honored to have you see one of the places my poem “I Was Just Wondering Because I Am Weird That Way” landed. It was written a couple of Sundays ago after I visited a church with my parents. It is the overflow of my heart after a worship service in which grace was manifested, moistening  my wide-eyed windows to the world. Click this link:

130811-24Window

And Tweetspeak Poetry ran a little piece of mine this week under their “Literary Tour” section. If you missed it you can read it here. I enjoyed the experience that lead to writing the piece, and even more so the comments and feedback from readers. Thank you. If you haven’t visited Tweetspeak, maybe now would be a great time to check out the words, the wit, the wonder that awaits at this fun home for poetry. And you can add to my joy.  It would drip grace over me if you have time to read and leave a footprint over there. Thanks friends, in advance.

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A Poem

I joined Tweetspeak Poetry this week for their poetry prompt “Bottled and Canned”. The creative folks over there threw this one out.  Clever., huh? What a fun way to be stretched creatively.  Here is my poem:

wpid-IMG_20130808_104817.jpg

Canned Hands

We played with the long green veins
In church
Ran our fingers down and up
While he preached the sermon
Children, restless
Intrigued by the vessels big and raised
Called them worms
Back in the days
Of her youth and ours
Now she reaches out for me
I count on them to be there
Wish I could bottle it up
or can it, place it on the top shelf
That warm feeling
We knit fingers, grasp and clasp
I want to save those ten digits, flesh and bone
Preserve the love found in them
Can the goodness
Preserve her love
Better than any bottled potions that the Ride Aid sells
A mother
And her aging love, suspended in time
Held

A Few Of My Favorite Things, In One Place – Tweetspeak Poetry

 

Blue Bicycle Books

Well I have to tell you that I fell in love with Charleston.  And I fell in love with my husband, well duh, and it all started in Charleston. So I really do have an incredible love affair with this city. I might love almost everything about it. The way it smells, like a city dipped in salt and sea, drying out on the edge of this Lowcountry region which I call hone. The way it looks, with steeple upon steeple reaching up through the sticky humid air. Always heavenward. The holy city. The homes and gardens which I find myself staring at like a young girl with a high school crush. The little bit of bustle which reminds me of Europe and a Southern New York CIty rolled into one small charming city that feels more like a town.

And poetry. And books. And very old things.  In Charleston. Well put them in a pot of goodness and you have some yummies for my Southern born and bred heart and soul.

Today I am honored to be at Tweetspeak Poetry with a  piece I wrote for their Literary Tour column. Come see what I write about and help keep me company over there.

You are cordially invited. And I promise to roll out a little Southern Hospitality. I might get a little lonely away from my home here. So come visit and leave a comment.

two bikes in charleston

Follow me over there for my words at Tweetspeak Poetry. Click here. Oh you already knew that. Thanks friends.

I am honored and humbled to be with such a warm community. You will like it too if you have never been.

Blue Bicycle Books 2

The Vigil

come unto me

She swears the color yellow soothes a soul
So you will  find her staring at the garden
Fixed gaze on the yellowest flower there
In the yard
She guards
Her heart
Holding vigil over one who gives her labor pains
Though eighteen years have passed since birth
Holding hope for one
Who birthed her too
Traumatized by screams of pain
She is ripped in two
She finds the field of yellow calms her nerves
Between her shifting gaze she lays it down
And takes it up again, her sinful self desires to stir the pot
She rakes the coals, red hot
Searing
Bloody
Mad when stirred
Hotter when  she pokes the fire
Fear finds fuel in oxygen of snuffed out hope
So she’ll return to yellow on her color wheel
Where quiet and calm soothe her aching soul
Now she knows how He must feel
Father of a million times a million times a million, no more
And lover of as many souls
She will pick a single yellow stem
And give it all to Him
The Perfecter of Her Faith
The One Who Never Sleeps Nor Rests
She lays the flower down
She’ll rest
Reciting: Goldfinch, Monarch, Black-eyed Susans
Over in her dreams
Calmed by yellow memories and hum
It is well with my soul
For He has got her back, cradled in His arms
She wears the title
Mother, Daughter, but
No longer
Tender of a  flame that burns
Her heart consumed by fear.

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Joining Jennifer Dukes Lee for #tellhisstory