The selfish wants to hold on. To grasp and grab and even hold back. Make you stay and sit here with me. Make you sacrifice so I can keep you here.
I wept and I weep at the thought of you leaving. There is nothing easy in releasing fury joy on four long spindly legs, big eyes that stared me down, laying it on thick when you wanted a hand to rub or a time to walk.
But you were made to soar. To run fast and often like a blue streak. You were the fastest many had ever seen. A blur when you were set free to fly. You smiled broad and wide when you lived your calling.
You shined bright.
You were created for those things.
But in my difficult release you will find freedom, to go and do and be the highest and best that this life has for you.
And so she was released a little bit ago, to a family on a farm. To run and hunt. To run more often, longer, brisker, faster. To live and breath deep.
To play hard and to do that which she loves. She was born to hunt, to run headlong into the woods. It is her passion.
She has been released in weepy, crying love to go. And I mourn her company and grieve my lost companion.
But I rejoice in her joy at living out her passions. Though it is away from me.
She smiled her broadest dog smile when she did. So when I put aside my selfish longing for her, I truly rejoice in her new place of truly living. Though it is apart from me.
And I trust that she is living her passion daily,living her dreams, living her calling. Extravagant living, into all that life has for her.
I want that for Ella. I want that for those I love. For my children, my husband, and my dearest friends.
Ella, you showed me a beautiful picture of what it looks like to grab hold of what you loved. Yes, even a dog can show us how to live with unbridled passion for what we were made to hunger after and for.
She was joy. And she was loved.
I miss you Ella, my Ellison, you are running headlong into the wind. And when I dwell on that, I smile with you.
When you were in my world, you blessed my socks off. And I am truly grateful.
You were a friend and you were and are pure delight, all white and furry, with endless energy and zest for living. You and your playful spirit brought me joy.
Go for it Ella. Go for it girl.